Coffee and Caffeine FAQ

For mild caffeine related sleeplessnes, try a banana or two (potassium), rehydrate with some electrolyte, water, and some good sleep foods such as milk, cheese, rice, and melon.  It will take time for high levels of caffeine to "half life" out of your system.  Each half life is about 5 hours.  If you've pumped yourself with 200mg of caffeine, it will likely take 5-10 hours to half life the dose down to a dietary manageable level including using sleep "friendly" foods.   If you end up sleepless all night then use the experience to learn that dietary energy management is easier without caffeine ingestion beyond breakfast.  

Side effects of pot include but are not limited to: getting arrested for otherwise harmless traffic violations, being way too friendly to strangers, caring more about smoking pot than moving out of your parents house, weight gain, slow or very difficult male orgasm, loss of short term memory, prolonged exposure will produce a loss of cognitive abilities, emphysema (weed smoke has 5 times more tar than filtered cigarettes, the sticky makes your lungs sticky, go figure), loss of money, loss of job, loss of girlfriend, loss of children (in that order).
Side effects of Caffeine include: inability to concentrate, increased heart rate, loss or lack of sleep, decreased appetite, increased blood pressure, increased productivity at work, shortened life span...
So.... go to jail a pennyless, lonely, zombie and die a horrible suffocation death on oxygen..... or die sooner and be a generally more productive member of society while not supporting the international illegal drug trade. 
THC comes from a plant. So does strychnine. 
Pot may or may not be addictive depending on whose smoking it. But I know a lot of my friends didn't eat when they were little because their parents bought weed instead of food. If that's not an addiction I don't know what is. I REALLY enjoy smoking cigarettes... But if it ever came down to a cigarette, or groceries, I'm picking groceries.  
Smoking weed is not a cure for caffeine. None of the things listed are cures for caffeine. But we do have un-caffeinated coffee, soda, and tea now.
Working out always helps me. If you're going through some intense caffeine panics try doing some pushups or running a bit. It seems counter-intuitive but the lactic acid that builds up in your muscles from working out seems to do something to counter-act it. It's always helped me.

I'm an American lit student.  I can tell you for a fact that reading Ralph Waldo Emerson should do the trick.

My best antidote to caffeine is valeriana + hydroxizin (atarax). Makes me like a sealcub meeting a norweigan in an hour.

This is a really amusing thread. As noted, many of the suggestions will have a depressant effect, which somewhat counteract the stimulant effects of caffeine, but I don't think any of them, will actually increase your body's rate of elimination of caffeine (reduce it's half life in the body).
 
The comment about nicotine reducing the half life is interesting, but their are no sources cited, and I can't find any source or reason to beleive that. And while alcohol might make you more relaxed, it may actually increases the half life according to wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine#Metabolism_and_half-life). Some of the things like eating a big heavy meal (aka lots of fat and protein) tend to make you sleepier as a normal reaction of thel parasympathetic nervous system.
 
I don't know of any way to reduce caffein's half life, but I'll throw in my favorite way to reduce the jittery effects of caffeine: Kava extract. Kava is an herb that has been used for over a thousand years, and makes you feel very physically relaxed, even mildly stoned if you take enough, but without clouding the mind at all. Or pure Kava, prepared the traditional way, which is safer and can be much stronger, but extract is a lot more convenient (also traditional Kava is very much an aquired taste...let's just say you don't drink the stuff for it's flavor). I'm not selling the stuff or anything but I think it's a great herb and makes a great combination with caffeine (some people call coffee + Kava a "happy camper"). I've tried lots of brands of Kava extract and some of the strongest and also best priced is from  http://www.wholehealth.com/vitamins-supplements/kava-kava. In my experience you need to take between 10-20 pills to start to noticably feel the effects. That sounds like a lot, but keep in mind the number of pills is practically meaningless it's the dose of the active ingredients that matter. If pills scare you, order some quality Kava root.
 
Despite some of the FDA warnings, it is very safe as long as you DON'T MIX IT WITH OTHER DRUGS. There were a few cases where people mixed it with alcohol and prescription drugs, and/or had improperly prepared extracts, and had problems, but I don't think there's ever been a reported case of permanent illness from pure kava taken in any quantity. Kava actually has a very good safety record and has been used for ages, I wonder if the extra scrutiny that the FDA has given Kava is due to how powerful of an herb it can be and potentially compete with very profitable drugs like anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds.

This combination works for me, don't ask me about the science of it.  I can vouch for it, try for yourself.  3 raw egg yolks and a few gelcaps of PhosphatadylSerine.  They synergize somehow, I have used it when I felt manic from overexertion.  I got the idea because they are both phospholipids and there is (though much less) some PS in egg yolk.  Cooking the yolks negates the effect.  I eat eggs from a local farm that still have traces of bird smear on them and I've never become sick.  Unless the egg is punctured their is very little risk.  I won't juse them if they even have those tanslucent "pre-cracks" which become cracks later.  I look for perfect eggs.  Just wash the eggs.  They advertise PS for cognitive enhancement; I don't believe it.  It affects my mood a little... lifts it while applying some subtle relaxation and no stimulant effect.  Adding raw eggyolks mulitplies this effect for me and sometimes makes me feel too understimulated... without feeling sedated.  Hard to explain.  Have used it for countering the effects of caffeine.  I doubt that it effects the metabolism of caffeine or hastens its removal from one's system.
Valerian root will help with anxiety.  Won't effect metabolism.  Melatonin will help too.  These are sedating and when present with enough caffeine the feeling is strange... though I wouldn't say uncomfortable.  Water doesn't help me.  It just replenishes what the caffeine pushes out and prevents muscle spasm.
If your doctor will prescribe benzos on an as needed basis this can be useful for too much caffeine(and the ensuing panic attacks).  Coffee is a must for concentration for many when in college.  The effects are not always consistent in my own experience.
Freeze dried coffee tastes terrible but has less potential for panic in my experience.  The alkaloid ratio must be altered by the freeze-dry process.  Its all bad but the individual packets are the least bad.  Starbucks is the exception, they put ground bean in theirs, rounding out the alkaloid profile.  I don't buy the large containers even of the same brand as the individual packets.  I can taste the difference.
That's what.

I read/learned somewhere that caffeine usually has a 5-hour effect that peaks at about 3-hours except when the body is adrenalized (has A&P? active in the cell) at time it's metabolized and in that case it can have effect for up to 20-hours! This is why sleeping meds sometimes aren't effective. Benadryl might be because it wouuld tend to calm a system that's amped up from an allergic reaction so it might in general calm adrenaline in the cells.
Therefore, despite the mentioned lack of an antidote, it would seem that something that calms the adrenaline down might help. This could include yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, hypnosis or gaba, kava, chamomile with honey, etc.
Someone out there with knowlege of naturopathy or physics might have some other suggestions!

Benedryl (diphenhydamine) kills/dilutes the effect of caffeine for me.  A shot of brandy works pretty good also. 

Thanks for all the comments! some were really funny!

Purslane has the most melatonin and it is buffeted with omega 3 healthful oil.
Get it at a well stocked produce section which caters to Mexicans.

Eat some toast with smoked salmon on top, and keep your heart lubed
so that it is not jittery from the knocks of the caffeine.

There are no chemical isomers of caffeine : no teaine from tea, mateine from yerba mate, etc.
The structure forbids it. Caffeine is caffeine.

A way to really reduce the amount of caffeine in your body: smoking cigarettes. The half life of caffeine will be lowered by 50% (so caffeïne leaves your body twice as fast). Of course this isn't a reason to pick up smoking! Drinking a few glasses of water and taking a high dose of vitamin C (> 1000 mg) may also speed up the breakdown a bit. Another way to counteract the effects of caffeïne: valerian and melatonin are natural and side effect-free ways to induce sleep. There is a big array of herbs you can take for this reason, and stronger sedatives will also work which can be dangerous so know what you are doing! Always check if there are side effects and look if it is worth any of the possible side effects. Alcohol may also help but use your common sense if it's worth the hangover and don't mix with other sleep-inducing substances. Don't use alcohol with a big caffeïne overdose: alcohol is a diuretic too so you may end up going to the toilet every 10 minutes and be at risk of dehydration. You can smoke some pot too but don't get into legal trouble, that's may cost you more nights of sleep than your caffeïne overdose. The best way to get a decent sleep is of course just not taking too much caffeïne a few hours before your intention to sleep!